Today it hit me: I'm in Utah, in a two-bedroom apartment with three other adults, looking for a job I will probably hate.
What have I done?
A two-bedroom apartment. My father-in-law enjoys his own room. Aaron and I are sharing with Alex. We're looking for houses. There are all sorts of stipulations:
1. Father-in-law doesn't want anything other than a single-family home.
2. Aaron wants a huge garage or workshop.
3. I just want us to all have our own bedrooms.
Practical considerations, however, are that Del needs a bedroom and bathroom on the main floor and as few as possible stairs to navigate when entering/exiting the home. That's not an easy thing to find. So the hunt continues. And I so hate looking for homes.
I'm applying for jobs. It requires me to explain what I do to make money. This is complicated. I work lots of part-time jobs. And I make money. And I'm leaving those to get a different job because:
1. I need to have benefits and a steady money stream. Even though I make good money now, there are times when work is less abundant. That's not a good thing when no one else is bringing money into our home.
2. I really, REALLY, need to get out of the house. Trying to work with my father-in-law underfoot is going to make me lose my mind. It's time for me to leave.
But the truth is, I left so much behind me. And today I miss my kids and my colleagues and the ability to be by myself.
And I need a hug. A big, long one.